2013 Week 4

I have decided to combine two disciplines.  I am sharing one photo each week and one word that represents what I am grateful for.

GRATEFUL WORD: Grief

2013 Week 4 photo:

Mildred I. Bush (Mom) Memorial 1/26/13

About the writer…

Royal D. Bush was born and raised in the Omaha metro area raised in a single parent family, with his Mother Mildred.  His first many years of life were spent in Bellevue, where he and his mother attended church at the First Baptist Church of Bellevue.  Eventually Omaha became home, where as a young adult, Royal began attending various worship services with friends and family before finally calling MCC Omaha his home, where he went on to serve as Minister of Hospitality.

In 2009, Royal founded Inclusive Life; a Nebraska, nonprofit, multifaith based organization that offers care and services to all without exception; religious, nonreligious and spiritual.  He continues to share his belief and message that “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  You are not alone.”

His current project is sharing a 2 hour “You Retreat” that will be offered monthly in Omaha.  It will focus on allowing people to experience themselves in ways perhaps not experienced before or often. 

INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVICES

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

Preparing the service

I have prepared the order of service and all of the content for many funerals.  I actually enjoy working with families to ask the questions to be able to tell the life story of their loved one.

In helping prepare that very content for my mom has been a journey within a journey.  We will be sharing some words to honor the love and care given by the care givers at the nursing home.  I was a little surprised as I put the words together how quickly and deeply the tears streamed from my eyes as I was recalling specific moments with staff and mom.  The words seem so fitting, true, and represent the love they shared.

I am have restarted writing moms life story a few times.  It seems that I have knack for either telling too much or skipping to many years.  I will find the balance soon.

I found a quote I like about grieving… “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”   -John Green.  I do believe this.  Each journey is different, and unique to each person and family, and that is ok.

Rev. Royal D. Bush is the founder of Inclusive Life, where he serves as a multifaith Chaplain.  He shares this message to all: “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.” 

Chaplain Royal is available for Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Grief Support, End of Life Planning, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Blessings, Dedications, Officiate Weddings, Officiate Funerals, Public Speaking, and other Pastoral Care.

ABOUT INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVICES…

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

2013 Week 3

I have decided to combine two disciplines.  I am sharing one photo each week and one word that represents what I am grateful for.

GRATEFUL WORD: Community

2013 Week 3 photo:

Inclusive Life/Resource Center Grand Opening

About the writer…

Royal D. Bush was born and raised in the Omaha metro area raised in a single parent family, with his Mother Mildred.  His first many years of life were spent in Bellevue, where he and his mother attended church at the First Baptist Church of Bellevue.  Eventually Omaha became home, where as a young adult, Royal began attending various worship services with friends and family before finally calling MCC Omaha his home, where he went on to serve as Minister of Hospitality.

In 2009, Royal founded Inclusive Life; a Nebraska, nonprofit, multifaith based organization that offers care and services to all without exception; religious, nonreligious and spiritual.  He continues to share his belief and message that “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  You are not alone.”

His current project is sharing a 2 hour “You Retreat” that will be offered monthly in Omaha.  It will focus on allowing people to experience themselves in ways perhaps not experienced before or often. 

INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVICES

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

Ministering to yourself

In the days since mom has passed (four to be exact) I have paused to realize how physically and emotionally I am drained at the end of a four our work day.

A dear friend reminded me to stay hydrated and eat well.  Another reminded me to take naps in the middle of the day.  I only got four hours of sleep last night, the first night I didn't sleep sound and long.

I reflect on how easy it come, for me, to minister to and care for the spiritual and emotional needs of others and yet when that practice is needed for one's self, it seems a bit elusive.

This process, for me, has allowed me to understand with a bit more deeper meaning on how one travels through the death of a family member, not always the same but I assure you there are some consistent part of the process that we all share.

Things I have taken note on:
1. You need more periods of rest.  Don't push yourself.
2. Don't be too sensitive to the words of others.  Their words come from places of good intentions.
3. Pre-planning is helpful, especially having those important documents (birth certificates, family records, etc.), you will need them.
4. We all grieve in our own way, on our time, and that is ok.
5. Stay hydrated and fed.

Rev. Royal D. Bush is the founder of Inclusive Life, where he serves as a multifaith Chaplain.  He shares this message to all: “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.” 

Chaplain Royal is available for Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Grief Support, End of Life Planning, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Blessings, Dedications, Officiate Weddings, Officiate Funerals, Public Speaking and other Pastoral Care.

ABOUT INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVIVES…

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

Love is... My Mommy

I have been sharing about my journey in life with my mom.  At 94, she was entering into her final months, weeks and days of life.  This past Monday, she entered into her final hours.

I always wrote on her holiday and greeting cards (like the old cartoons) Love Is... My Mommy.  Love, is one (of many) great gifts my mom shared with me in her 94 years of life, and my 45.

Even after her last breath she was teaching, preaching, loving and caring for those around her.  My brother and I who have been distant with each other, have reconnected.  Her roommate (who because of dementia) was not always a easy person to love or be with, was nicer, caring and played the role of care taker a few times.  Staff members shared that my mom was one of the kindest person they have cared for.

Monday night, after being surrounded by a day with; her sons, son in laws, daughter in laws and other family members (and a grandson on the phone) she took her last breath.  We were two blocks away when we found this out.

I am grateful for the gift of seeing her life journey (including her death) as beautiful, peaceful and loving.  I think her last breath was as special and unique as her first.  The moment we are born, we are old enough to die.

I am mindful that it is never to early to begin preparing your end of life decisions.  Have those talks, complete paperwork and prepare today.  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

I am mindful that death is a necessary and beautiful part of our life.  It will be what we make of it.  Love, light and special?

I am mindful that you get from the universe what you give.  What do you give in place of what you have taken?

Rev. Royal D. Bush is the founder of Inclusive Life, where he serves as a multifaith Chaplain.  He shares this message to all: “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.” 

Chaplain Royal is available for Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Grief Support, End of Life Planning, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Blessings, Dedications, Officiate Weddings, Officiate Funerals, and other Pastoral Care.

ABOUT INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVIVES…

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

Teaching and learning

Some of you know me.  Some of you know of me through what I have shared.  I was adopted at birth by my Grandmother.  My mom Mildred raised me, cared for me and taught me a lot about life.  She continues to do so in her final days on this earth.

About 3 months ago she had a hospital visit that lead to a nursing home stay that is now leading to hospice.  I visit her one day and if I was a betting man I would say that she has hours or minutes left.  I visit her the next day and she recalls times of travel, fun and family, and then asks, "when will I be well enough to come back home?"

There is nothing in our education system, in life or in seminary classes that has prepared me for this part of life's journey.

A pastor of mine shared with me once that he talked with his parents and shared "Your job raising me is done.  When it is your time to go, go peacefully."

I knew of this conversation years ago.  I thought that if I didn't have it with my mom, she would never die.  The reality is, the moment we are born we are old enough to die.  I went to her to have that conversation.  It took a lot to be prepared.  Life, death, DNR, meds, regrets, etc.

Just as I held her hand and begin to share, she said, "Honey it is so nice to see you and all, it is 2pm and it is time for bingo come back and see me tomorrow."  I sat on her bed and laughed and laughed and laughed.  She is still teaching me!

I did come back the next day and we did have the talk.  Her adopting me, her raising me, her living with me for the last 12  years, being cared for, end of life, medications, do not resuscitate, and final wishes.  I shared with her that I have no regrets.  I was raised by a beautiful women who loved me very much.  She said she had been well cared for and that she knew that she has lived a good long life.  She wanted to more treatments, she wanted nature to take its course.

My lessons, for me, have been; is that it is about one day at a time.  It is about patience.  It is about spiritual connections of those whom are caring for her.  It is about faith.  It is about love.  It is about understanding that taking your last breath is just as beautiful as taking your first.

Rev. Royal D. Bush is the founder of Inclusive Life, where he serves as a multifaith Chaplain.  He shares this message to all: “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.” 

Chaplain Royal is available for Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Grief Support, End of Life Planning, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Blessings, Dedications, Officiate Weddings, Officiate Funerals, and other Pastoral Care.

ABOUT INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVIVES…

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

2013 Week 2

I have decided to combine two disciplines.  I am sharing one photo each week and one word that represents what I am grateful for.

GRATEFUL WORD: Sharing

2013 Week 2 photo:

Art created by my Sister Beth

About the writer…

Royal D. Bush was born and raised in the Omaha metro area raised in a single parent family, with his Mother Mildred.  His first many years of life were spent in Bellevue, where he and his mother attended church at the First Baptist Church of Bellevue.  Eventually Omaha became home, where as a young adult, Royal began attending various worship services with friends and family before finally calling MCC Omaha his home, where he went on to serve as Minister of Hospitality.

In 2009, Royal founded Inclusive Life; a Nebraska, nonprofit, multifaith based organization that offers care and services to all without exception; religious, nonreligious and spiritual.  He continues to share his belief and message that “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  You are not alone.”

His current project is sharing a 2 hour “You Retreat” that will be offered monthly in Omaha.  It will focus on allowing people to experience themselves in ways perhaps not experienced before or often. 

INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVICES

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

About me, Page 1

I bought a book recently titled "The Element Encyclopedia of Birthdays" by Theresa Cheung.  The first page that was opened was for the date of October 12th, the birthday of the effusive complexity!

It says my greatest challenge is...getting over yourself.  The way forward is to understand that although you may be at the center of your world, this does not mean that you are at the center of everyone else's.

The first sentence of the breakdown of the October 12 people is "Heads turn when the larger-than-life personalities of people born on October 12 enter a room."

I am unable to disagree with what has been presented, so far.  And those that know me and those that know me very well, would not be able to either!

I wonder if each of us feel that "we" are special, unique or different.  I have given thought to this and wonder if growing up in single parent family, in smaller towns, being surrounded by the people that I did, being gay, being adopted within my family, all of those life experiences, have helped me to make me feel that I have lived such a unique life that my journey has allowed me to feel that I am different from everyone else's experience.

I understand that I, like us all, have an ego.  And that ego needs to be checked (and sometimes re-checked.)  I also understand that putting others first brings power, humility, and growth like no other to ones own life.

It catches up with you

I was just sending a FaceBook message to a dear friend who stood up with me at our wedding this past July.  I shared with him that despite my many "automatic" posts to social media sites (pre-programmed the month before) and have not been "plugged" into the computer much since the middle of December.

I think, in retrospect, the holidays were VERY  V E R Y overwhelming for me this year.  Mom being permanently being placed in the care facility and not being home actually drained me a bit.  I had a couple of funerals, and many friends who lost loved ones and friends.

Sometimes being a person who hears a lot of grief, helps with those in grief and experiences grief just like everyone else, there comes a point when we have to take care of mind, body and spirit.  We are too often better givers of help then hearing it.

I have often said I do not know it all (religion) and the many things I do know mostly pertain to my very personal view, opinion, experience and thoughts about what I have learned in my 45 years of life.  And it is my hope, prayer and thought that my words, silence, touch, prayer and love well  help you in some way regardless of your religious, nonreligious or spiritual belief.  Your relationship with the sacred is just that...your relationship with the sacred.

I think I sum up life is about two things.  Understanding what makes you happy.  And, sharing that which makes you happy with others.  It is a gift, a present to share with all.

Up to 3rd Grade

The early 70's... a time when a parent didn't think twice about allowing a child to ride their bike a couple of miles to pick up a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk, from the local liquor store.  It was also a time that I believe that both parents and neighbors accepted the responsibility and notion that it "takes a village to raise a child"... My mom knew everything I did and didn't do before I told her (or didn't tell her!) HAHA

My first grade teacher was Ms. Warren.  I remember her smile.  She was nice.  I remember playing with my friends Mark Lane, Eddy Smith and Damian Dominic.  If I wasn't playing outside with one of them, I was probably in the house with mom.  I don't remember homework much.  I had to keep my room clean, but I did that anyway.  I don't like disorganization.  Yes, even then.

My second grade teacher was Mrs. Hebeil.  I believe she went on to become a principal for Bellevue Schools.  I had two third grade teachers, as I was held back a grade.  Mrs. Rubin and Mrs. Kowker.  Mrs. Rubin was nice, I remember her smile.  I don't think Mrs. Kowker had kids by this point in her life.  She tried very hard.  Although I know we didn't connect, she was a caring person.

I remember passing the Zaunka's house every day from school.  An old German couple.  Everyone said stay clear of them.  The town actually held a meeting to remove them from the city.  (I keep telling myself it was the early 70's.)  I stopped by all the time to pick up cookies, great chats and Mrs. Zaunka's smile.  She was a friendly, loving "grandma" in my book.  One day they were gone.  Their house is still there.  Maybe I will buy it one day.  A VERY small house, probably the size of a large garage!

I was surrounded by people who loved me, knew me (even if I didn't know them) and certainly knew who Mrs. Bush was!  I always felt safe.  I never felt a lone.  Yes, at times I felt that someone was watching me (not in creepy sort of way) more like mom looking out the crack of the curtain kind of way.  Even if I wasn't on my own street.

I remember swimming lessons.  They threw a quarter in the big pool and made us go get it.  Ya, right.  I had never been swimming before, really!  They were trying to drown me I tell you!  As you guessed, they didn't and I lived to tell about it.

A lot was getting ready to change.  We were getting ready to move from Bellevue to LaVista, we were going to share a house with my Sister Sharon (Birth mother) her husband Larry, Shawn, and Danny.  Talk about enough in the house.  At some point Larry Jr. and Jerry lived with us as well.  The year was 1976, hello LaVista, NE here we come!

2013 Week 1

I have decided to combine two disciplines, and yes I need to catch up a few.  I am going to share one photo each week and one word that represents what I am grateful for.

GRATEFUL WORD: Time
Week 1, 2013 photo:

Mildred Irene Bush (My Mommy)

About the writer…

Royal D. Bush was born and raised in the Omaha metro area raised in a single parent family, with his Mother Mildred.  His first many years of life were spent in Bellevue, where he and his mother attended church at the First Baptist Church of Bellevue.  Eventually Omaha became home, where as a young adult, Royal began attending various worship services with friends and family before finally calling MCC Omaha his home, where he went on to serve as Minister of Hospitality.

In 2009, Royal founded Inclusive Life; a Nebraska, nonprofit, multifaith based organization that offers care and services to all without exception; religious, nonreligious and spiritual.  He continues to share his belief and message that “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  You are not alone.”

His current project is sharing a 2 hour “You Retreat” that will be offered monthly in Omaha.  It will focus on allowing people to experience themselves in ways perhaps not experienced before or often. 

INCLUSIVE LIFE PASTORAL SERVICES

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual, we serve all without exception.

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105

OFFICE (402) 575-7006          TEXT (402) 909-1668

info@inclusivelife.org

http://www.inclusivelife.org           www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

Before Kindergarten, Bellevue, NE

I was born in 1967 at Children's Hospital.  My family was living in Bellevue at the time.  I recall times prior to being in Kindergarten at Bertha Barbara Elementary School.  

I remember that we lived at 307 East 16th Street and that I had a dog named Tags (a black lab.)  She was outside in her pen with no chain but she never tried jumping.  She was a good dog, was always there to lick my face.

I know that next door the McCoy family lived.  Mom babysat for Gary and Loraine.  Lisa and Lori and I would play often.  Across the street two families, one was the Johnson family and the other was the Lane family.  To the other side of us was the Smith's (big family) and when they moved the Park's.

I remember hanging out with mom, spending time in the yard.  I remember we had a lot of ferns, on the East side of the house.   I had a sand box.  And I knew I had a lot of toys.  Match box cars, legos', GI Joe stuff, Lincoln Logs and so much more.

Mrs. Elefson (not sure on spelling) was my first teacher.  I liked school.  I liked her.  I remember playing games, the sand box in the class room, nap time, playing house and building wooden train set tracks under her desk was "big deal"????!!!

I remember walking downtown with mom and there always seemed to be kids with us.  I am not sure who they are, but there was always kids with us it seemed.

I remember going trick or treating and wearing my superman costume.  We would get caramel apples, popcorn balls, and good candy.   It was great!

A new day, a new year

I went to see Les Miserables at the theater during the holidays.  I really enjoyed the experience.  The story was incredible.  One of the many great quotes, for me, was "To love another person is to see the face of God."  A friend of mine has shared many times that something for Christians to strive for is to see "God" in others.  Seek out their passion, love and talents and help celebrate those gifts with them.

Regardless of your religious, nonreligious or spiritual beliefs, I think there is something in that quote for us all. I believe that the true spirit of God is that of happiness, forgiveness, and healing.  So for me, to see the face of God in others, is putting your baggage in the "parking lot", putting that persons baggage in the "parking lot" and loving them for exactly who they are.

Perhaps if all "Christians", and followers of organized religions would share this belief, we would have a happier world, more peace in countries, inclusive communities and families without outcasts... and a bit more love in this big blue planet we call Earth.

Happy New Year to you, your family, and your friends.  May peace, love and compassion be with you and from you.

Rev. Royal D. Bush is the founder of Inclusive Life, where he serves as a multifaith Chaplain.  He shares this message to all: “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.” 

Chaplain Royal is available for Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Grief Support, End of Life Planning, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Blessings, Dedications, Officiate Weddings, Officiate Funerals, and other Pastoral Care.

ABOUT INCLUSIVE LIFE…

Inclusive Life Pastoral Services.

Religious, nonreligious, spiritual.  We serve all without exception.

3622 Leavenworth Street Omaha, NE 68105    

OFFICE: (402) 575-7006  TEXT: (402) 909-1668