Teaching and learning

Some of you know me.  Some of you know of me through what I have shared.  I was adopted at birth by my Grandmother.  My mom Mildred raised me, cared for me and taught me a lot about life.  She continues to do so in her final days on this earth.

About 3 months ago she had a hospital visit that lead to a nursing home stay that is now leading to hospice.  I visit her one day and if I was a betting man I would say that she has hours or minutes left.  I visit her the next day and she recalls times of travel, fun and family, and then asks, "when will I be well enough to come back home?"

There is nothing in our education system, in life or in seminary classes that has prepared me for this part of life's journey.

A pastor of mine shared with me once that he talked with his parents and shared "Your job raising me is done.  When it is your time to go, go peacefully."

I knew of this conversation years ago.  I thought that if I didn't have it with my mom, she would never die.  The reality is, the moment we are born we are old enough to die.  I went to her to have that conversation.  It took a lot to be prepared.  Life, death, DNR, meds, regrets, etc.

Just as I held her hand and begin to share, she said, "Honey it is so nice to see you and all, it is 2pm and it is time for bingo come back and see me tomorrow."  I sat on her bed and laughed and laughed and laughed.  She is still teaching me!

I did come back the next day and we did have the talk.  Her adopting me, her raising me, her living with me for the last 12  years, being cared for, end of life, medications, do not resuscitate, and final wishes.  I shared with her that I have no regrets.  I was raised by a beautiful women who loved me very much.  She said she had been well cared for and that she knew that she has lived a good long life.  She wanted to more treatments, she wanted nature to take its course.

My lessons, for me, have been; is that it is about one day at a time.  It is about patience.  It is about spiritual connections of those whom are caring for her.  It is about faith.  It is about love.  It is about understanding that taking your last breath is just as beautiful as taking your first.

Rev. Royal D. Bush is the founder of Inclusive Life, where he serves as a multifaith Chaplain.  He shares this message to all: “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.” 

Chaplain Royal is available for Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Grief Support, End of Life Planning, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Blessings, Dedications, Officiate Weddings, Officiate Funerals, and other Pastoral Care.

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