Freedom

Freedom.  It can be such an ambiguous word.  An easily form of freedom is often thought of when people think of inmates verses those not incarcerated.  Eastern religions speak of  Samsara (continues flow) In modern parlance, Samsara refers to a place, set of objects and possessions, but originally, the word referred to a process of continuous pursuit or flow of life.  It is said that mistaking illusion for reality is the root cause of suffering. 

Illusion is a place that many people live in, well have or do at points in our life.  Probably more true for us “Westerners” than it is for Easterner’s.  Freedom.  It has implications far more deeper than just what we give the word credit for.  Again, we most often think of the word as it applies to those inmates locked up.  Those prisoners of war.  Those detainees. 

Freedom.  We do we need to be free from?  When we give focused thought and process to how the word can apply to our lives it can release great meaning and awareness.  Some of my most powerful “tough love” moments included me become free from what was hold me hostage AT the same time that I had no freedom.  Now THAT is power my friends.  Freedom in the very moment there was none!  How does that happen?

Often in time of crisis, deep-honest reflection and those “ah ha” moments (to some known as the 2x4 moments) we reach for what we considered our strength, and we find our authentic selves, whole and powerful.  It is true that our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate!  It is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

I have always been an impatient person.  I prayed several years ago for a gift of patience.  It came in an unexpected form.  I was on my way home, and I was delayed.  In the end, I realized that I was where I needed to be because someone needed me.  This person’s primary care giver and guardian passed away.  He had not other family.  His lifeline, his support of life was gone.  He had little coping skills.  I held him for what seemed like two days, probably just a few hours.  He cried, then he just breathed, then he cried, then he was mad and yelled, then he breathed.  All in all 7 days had passed and when it was all said and done I realized that I was needed to be there for him.  This delay was not about me.  It was not significant in my life.  If I was delayed 7 days and I GOT THE CHANCE to help another human being with their journey, isn’t that the meaning of life? (well at least part of it?)  It took me a few weeks to process this lesson.

Today I look back with total clarity.  Freedom.  I was not able to go.  However, the freedom that I have today, resulted in NOT having certain freedoms then.  My illusion of what was important was being driven by my agenda, my timeline, my needs, my wants, my selfishness.  When I was able to reach down to my authentic self, I found power, truth, light, enlightenment that today contributes to a freedom unmatched by any worldly possession.  And that perhaps, is one of the greatest gifts of all.

We all can be the change we seek in this world.  One person.  One day.  One journey.  One chance of freedom at a time…

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Earth Freaks

I remember being in the 3^rd grade at Bertha Barbra Elementary in Bellevue.  On field trips and while outside most any day, I would “freak out” when other children would liter.  I would ether yell at them or go pick it up myself.  I guess that was my contribution to the planet.  Then.  Times have change and I, like you, owe the planet more than I have been a steward of/for.

A couple years ago we visited my sister in law.  Her and her husband were like these earth freaks.  OMG.  I thought it was funny.  Well, it was funny until I started to realize how right they were for doing what most of American fails to do… care enough to take action.  They don’t just talk about it they live it!  Use plastic grocery sacks?  Never, bring your own cloth bags!  Bring your own container for leftovers at dinner?  Every time!  Recycle, reuse and reduce is how they live their life.  Standard bulbs in their house?  Nope, energy savings bulbs.    

I must of liked those “freaks” cause when we arrived home we bought energy savings bulbs, we bought a recycling trash bin-sorter, we started using cloth grocery bags, and we reduced, reused and began recycling.  So yes, we are those earth freaks too!  HAHA  (And yes I know that being a good steward goes beyond those few examples.)

The first commercial I remember about pollution and taking care of the planet was 1970’s Keep America Beautiful that featured a Native American crying over what he saw and felt.  That was 40 years ago.  Do our rivers and banks look like they did then, no, not all the time, but some do.  Is pollution as bad?  Depends on what study you read.  I can’t imagine that all the oil that has been displaced is good for the environment.

We seem to choke the life out most everything that we can get something from, that is our culture.  At some point we will need to realize that there may be no more life to get if we continue to pollute the way we do and the way we let others get away with poluting our beloved planet.  Our planet is like our teeth, if you

I ask you to sit down and really give some thought about what you can commit to changing in your life  Even if one light bulb this week.  One bulb.  One less plastic bag.  Recycling.  Reducing.  Reusing.  Can all lead to represent the changes we seek in this world.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals

Remembeing Family Members

Today we take time to honor our family members who are no longer with us.  For some, they may take exception to the particular members that I speak of; our pets.  I would not encourage anyone to challenge a pet owner to the contrary, especially those whom have had to burry one. 

The first animal we had that died was my first dog, her name was Tags.  A beautiful small black lab mix.  Silly dog was in her pen without a chain but she didn’t know that.  She always played with me, kissed me every day.  Her tail always wagging. 

The second, and most recent pet that passed is one that we had to put to sleep.  There have been two times in my life that my mother has cried so hard, it shook my soul; 1) when her daughter passed and 2) when her little mini Dachshund had a back injury that could not be repaired and it was the most humane option.  Up until that point those two could not be separated. 

Relationships with pets are unique and special bonds, much like our relationships with individual members of our families, special and unique.  Pets offer unconditional love, even on days when others find us unlovable or unlikeable, our pets think we are kings and queens.  If ONLY we could live up to the expectation that they have of us!  They are always there for us no matter what kind of mood we are in or what kind of day we have had.

Pets often see us through transitions and stages of our life.  Sometimes we spend more time with our pets than anyone else.  Or we might share more with our pets than we do anyone else, funny how sometimes they understand us huh?  I was sick a few months back, I should have been in the hospital.  My cat, which is not a typical lap cat did not leave my side.  At one point when I was not in a good way, she spent about 10 minutes talking with me… she knew I was not well.

Our pets become part of our identity, who we are, and often times change how we react to others.  They often give us a sense of purpose and meaning because they depend on us to take care of their basic needs.  They are there to meet our needs for physical touch and affection.  Our arms feel empty when we no longer have them to hold and cuddle with.

Our family members help us to be better people, because of them we have been blessed.  We are the privileged ones to have been so lucky to care for and be a part of their life.

We can be the change we seek in this world.  One person.  One day.  One journey.  One family member at a time.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals

Understanding

I had the rich experience of growing up poor as child.  Poor according to whose standard?  Well, it was just mom, I and her monthly social security check that paid our bills.  So I am sure the government standard was poor, as child, I never knew it.

If we were poor why was our yard and house always in good repair and well maintained?  If we were poor why was there always good clothes on my back, hot food for us and others available?  There was always enough to share… clothes, food, love and space.  Surly if we were poor we would have nothing to offer others.  I learned to understand that we had many things to share with our families, friends and those in need.  And we did.

That lesson in life carried with me through many of my own placed tough love moments in life.  Those moments where you know the decision you made would lead to consequences and at the time that didn’t seem to matter.  When those consequences caught up with me, it mattered. 

We all need someone to that understands.  We live in a society that often throws people away quickly, without regard for the contributions or potential.  It happens at work, in our families, in our communities, in politics, in every place in our lives.

I share story shared by a friend who illustrates the point of needing someone that understands in our life.  A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.  He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.   As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.  He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.  "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."  The boy dropped his head for a moment.   Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.  "I've got thirty-nine cents.  Is that enough to take a look?"  "Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.  The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.  His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.  Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.  Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.  The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."  With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.  In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."  With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.  Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.  "How much?" asked the little boy...  "No charge," answered the farmer," There's no charge for love."  The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Step back and take a moment to think about those whom you have crossed paths with.  Are they someone you may understand better than someone else?  We ourselves can be quick to judge others when growing through life with them. 

Remember, you can be the change that you seek in this world.  One person, one moment, one journey and one connection at a time.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Given. Chosen. Family.

I came from a single parent family, it was just mom and I growing up.  Well, sorta.  There were always neighbors stopping by, family coming to visit  and friends of the family galore!  I learned, at a very young age, that although I had a “family” that shared my last name, I too had a family that didn’t.  They were made up of very special friends and “others” who are family in large collected over many years.

I moved from home when I was 20 years old to manage a store for a restaurant in Iowa.  My first Thanksgiving I called the day of to talk to everyone.  I could smell my moms food through the phone!  The next day (8 hour drive) my sister and mom showed up with my plate of food (and a whole pumpkin pie for me!)  Now that is family.

I remember at Christmas time, I was not able to go home when I waned because my car was not working.  So I planned on not going.  Shortly after I walked home from work a customer turned friend turned family.  He threw me the keys to his truck and said see you on Monday and tell you mother hello for me.  REALLY!  Now that is family!  (Mom made him and his wife a hand made afghan for “watching” out for me.

It is said that a friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same, I am sure the same can be said for family.  Just because we are related does not mean that we “have” to love one another.  I think that Erma Bombeck has it down correctly… “The family is a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”

We can be the change we seek in this world.  One person, one day, one journey, and one more in our family at a time.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals

Born Orginal

We all are born original.  It is a shame so many die copies.  Embrace who and what you are!  My friends Aunt Dorothy was a hoot.  She was that Aunt who always wore the boldest fashion, to the point you would think how old is she!  But once you met her and interacted with her she would have you in stitches.  Her jokes and malapropisms became her “brand”… she was a hit!  From the Wizard of Odd to Close Encounters of the First Kind… she would “remake” movie titles, song titles and store names. 

Lady Gaga sings “My mama told me when I was a young we are all born superstars…”  Lady Gaga is right, and so was her mama.  Everyone has a gift, a talent and contribution to share with the world.  When shared it makes the world a richer and more wonderful experience for everyone!

We all have a voice, a talent, a knack, a gift…  You just have to find it, own it, believe it, and embrace it.  No matter what!  You can be the change that you seek in this world.  One person, one day, one journey one gift at a time!

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals

Breaking up. Speaking same language. 4 of 4.

DO YOU SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE?

Most of the time, no!  We all speak different languages.  What motivates me, you may be blind too.  What makes you upset may make someone else ecstatic!  Words, Time, Gifts, Acts, and Touch are the 5 predominate types of language that one speaks (explanations are listed below.)  The 5 languages of love is a great book (click here to see it at Amazon)

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.

It is beneficial for you to understand what language you speak AND what language your beloved speaks.  If you’re not speaking the same language, you’re not communicating, you are unable to compromise and there will be no commitment to continue together.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Breaking Up. How to Move On. 3 of 4

HOW TO MOVE ON...

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without being surrounded by those whom love you, your family and friends.  Be open.  Be honest with them.  Once you come to terms with the fact that break ups happen in life and that they will happen to you, then you can move on to the golden rule of break ups:

Declare to yourself the belief that it’s necessary to get over the person who broke up with you (not forget, but “move on.”)  Unfortunately a good number of people resist the break up, and resist getting over the person. It happens way too often Even worse than resisting getting over the person, where one part of you wants to move on while the other is still holding on, is that some people are not aware of this conflict that is going on in their mind. This conflict may leave you drained mentally and emotionally and you won’t be in full control of your thoughts.

Always know what you want – get over the break up and ask yourself why you are so resistant at moving on. Ask yourself what makes you attracted to this person, what you really like about him/her that makes him/her so special and why can’t you get over him/her? This way you will clarify your emotions and get to know yourself better. Once your mind is clear, you will get a sense of direction for your life. You will know exactly what you want and you won’t have any more second thoughts.

If you have a choice of going to Europe or Australia for a trip, and you can’t make up your mind because you want to visit both places, you will probably end up not visiting either one!  If you haven’t made up your mind about what you want from life, you won’t achieve anything but a feeling of frustration. You will feel unsure of yourself, since you will constantly investigate your feelings to try to understand your true desire.

So before taking the plunge and getting involved in another relationship, try understand your feelings first...Gather information about yourself from your family and friends and most importantly from yourself.  You need to know two things before you move onto another relationship; 1) Know yourself, your dreams, your needs, and your aspirations-well.  And 2) Know the qualities that are important to you, in a companion.  Don’t settle for anything less than what you know will make you happy and remember, sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn’t think you wanted.

End of Life Planning

End of Life Planning.  It is never too early to plan for your final days.  We can help!  Inclusive Life will help you create a legal document outlining how you will be cared for in your final days.  Creating this document will give you peace of mind today, that you will be caring for your loved ones, family and friends when they need it the most.

Visit www.inclusivelife.org to learn more.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Breaking up. Types of breakups. 2 of 4

TYPES OF BREAK UPS

Not all break ups are the same. Different break ups may create different emotions such as, deep sadness and depression, anger or maybe even belief. Here are the three different classifications:

1. You’re the one who’s breaking up – This type of break up is obviously the easiest and it will give you little, if no trouble at all to get over. The decision will make you feel better, fresher than being in the relationship.

2. The partner decided to break up – This is the hardest type of break up, since the other part chose to break up and you are left to pick up the pieces.  This is the main subject of this article.

  

3. Mutual parting.  This happens when the parties have mutually agreed to go their separate ways. This is the best and the rarest type of break up, where the individuals care about the feelings of the other and they reason and openly discuss.

Knowing what type of break up you’re going through, will help you come to terms with the idea and will help you in starting to get over it. It’s not so plain sailing, since you may over and over again, go through the uncertainty and you may ask yourself why the two of you are apart.

Most of the time we can determine that a breakdown in one of these three areas helped to contribute the most to breaking up... Lack of communication.  Lack of commitment.  Lack of compromise.  Which did your lack?  One, two or all three?  Maybe it was communication for one of you and compromise for the other?

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Breaking Up. What do I do now? (1 of 4)

I begin a 4 part series on breaking up today.  Let's face it, it is not a good thing when two people remain together when it just isn't going to work or be "right."  Sure there are many times that with some coaching or therapy, a second chance or a new foundation can be created.  We will explore in this 4 part series what to do when that isn't the case.

WHAT DO I DO NOW? 

This is a question asked often by each person when ending or separating from a relationship, regardless if it was a marriage or a committed relationship.  And it is a good question.  It is healthy to explore, what now.  It has been said that a break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.  For some this is true.  Perhaps for others a chance at reconciliation is possible through the use of therapy.  

Moving on after a relationship break up is not easy for some. Psychologists say that going through a relationship breakup, is like going through the grieving process. Well if you compare the two, you can see a number of similarities. In both cases, you are losing someone you loved and psychologically, your mind is not willing to let them go. So you can get over a bad break up using similar principles like grieving.  Sometimes you don’t realize how much you care about someone until they don’t care about you.

It needs to be understood that breaking up is a part of life, and also part of relationships. It is okay if this happens!  (Sometimes it is the most healthy and authentic thing that each of you can do!)  Relationships end all the time. If you hadn’t broken up with someone before, you probably wouldn’t have experienced the intense feelings that you felt with the partner you are breaking up with now.

Think as well of the future; you won’t be able to share unique experiences and feelings with a future partner if you don’t get over and move on after the break up.  In order for someone else to “love” you or care for you, YOU yourself has to be in the position to love & care for yourself.  If you are not centered and able to love yourself, or care for yourself, do not expect or allow anyone to try to do that with you or for you!

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Ordination

There is some question about what an “Officiant” really is and or is not.  It is my hope to simply share some light on this question.

Wikipedia states that “An Officiant is someone who officiates (i.e. leads) at a service or ceremony, such as marriage, burial, or namegiving/baptism. Officiants may be ordained by any denomination as members of their clergy, or by secular/Humanist or interfaith/interspiritual religious bodies.”

Although most Officiants differ from other “clergy” titles, such as Chaplain, Reverend, Pastor, in that many Officiants serve the unaffiliated public at large, while other “clergy” are usually employed by an institution such as the military, a hospital or other health care facility, etc. and serve a specific group or congregation. 

An "Officiant" can be a Justices of the Peace, Judge, celebrants, marriage commissioners, ministers, clergy, and other people “legally” empowered by law to perform legally binding private ceremonies.  In my opinion, this is where the light is needed.

It IS possible to go online right this minute, find one of many websites to become “ordained.”  Most all of them require no training, experience, education or any standards.  They just collect their fee and you are free to download your certificate of ordination.  Is that legal?  In many places, not all, yes.  Some states are adapting state laws that require those who are “ordained” however that may be to offer proof that they are involved with on-going ministry work.

There is no regulation in this “industry” for those using online ordination as the gateway to provide services to the public at large.  One could argue that if you receive a “calling” to serve others that is all that is needed.  Others will advocate that you must meet some minimum standards while others insist that you have a degree or seminary education.

Some states are calling into question on line paper mills who “appear” to be a “church” and ordaining people for one time fees.  Most credentials and license’s for mainstream clergy are issued annually to insure that they continue to be members in good standing and are upholding to agreements, doctrines, policies as outline by those issuing those credentials or licenses. 

Generally, for religious use, ordination is the manner by which individuals are consecrated (elevating to the “status” that they are now authorized to perform various rites of passage and ceremonies. They are being elevated to the status of “clergy.”  The process and ceremony is different for each sect, denomination and/or order.  Traditionally it means that the candidate has reached a level of service, competence, education, commitment, and acceptance to the doctrine, standards and pledges to uphold the beliefs of such of that organization. 

That becomes another “dark spot” when those who are being ordained online by “organizations” that do not require anyone to reach a level of service, competence, education, commitment or have a doctrine, standards or beliefs to pledge too.  It could be viewed as that if you have the money, you can be ordained.  Period.

 So where does that leave the public, the consumer, the one potentially hiring an Officiant?  It leaves them in the position that they need to do their research.  They need to understand who they are hiring and what they are getting for the fees they are going to pay.

I know some outstanding more than qualified Officiants who have never had a day of educational training and perform some of the most beautiful ceremonies.  And I am aware of the many stories of those who have encountered those at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Since 2009, this is what I know.  Many people are “running” from main stream churches and places of worship.  Most couples share with me that they believe in a higher power and that they relationship with “the Sacred” is just that, Sacred, personal and private.  They are shying away from those at the helm of a pulpit telling them how, who and when to dislike or support something or someone.  They often view a place of worship as a place of clicks that is often hard to become a part of. 

We know that up to 70% of the population does not attend worship on a regular basis.  Many individuals, couples and families do not have “relationships” with places of worship because there has been a break in the family “tie” with such places of worship.  And many say they “don’t fit” with traditional religious beliefs of many of today’s churches so they consider themselves spiritual or nonreligous.

So where do they turn to when they want to get married, need “pastoral” care, or someone to perform a funeral service?  They are turning to those of us who are meeting their needs by providing care and services that are both nondenominational and nonreligious.  They are turning to those Officiants that are being recognized by a local or regional organizations that are incorporated, registered and offer standards and assurances that the staff they promote are trained, are legally credentialed, licensed and ordained to provide professional care and services.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Laughter

Laughter has always been a powerful medicine for me.  In high school it got me out of fights and tough spots, bringing humor and making others laugh.  In my coming of age years it helped me through times in life that were difficult and meaningful, sometimes I would laugh so much I was able to absorb the lesson or truth of the moment.  Most of the time laughter, for me, was my own way of helping ME create space to be comfortable when I was least comfortable.

It has been said that nothing shows a person’s character more than what they laugh at.  I examined all that I have laughed at, about, with and for.  It certainly has changed over the many life experiences that I have had.

Perhaps it is looking eye to eye with someone and seeing and knowing their life journey, their pain, without knowing a thing about them.  Knowing that what they have been through has made them stronger and that whatever faces them in this very moment is the difference between a flea and an elephant. 

When we look at others we do place value judgments on them; if they look differently than we do, if they dress differently than we do, if they talk differently than we do, if they smell differently than we do, if they do something differently than we do, if they believe differently than we do, if their family looks differently than ours, if they…  I wonder if they are thinking the same thing about ME!  So, who, then, is the different one?

Most everyone forgets how much value we place on words, who says them, how they are said and when they are said.  Sometimes they cut like a knife, deep, painful, and scaring and times they can be uplifting, healing, cleansing and helpful; in both their absence and presence.  Laughter is not much different.  In its absence it can be dry, scary, painful and dark.  In its proper presence it can be uniting, harmonious, contagious, and reassuring.  AH! There is the word, proper.  How do we, who are you to define what is “proper” when it comes to words or laughter?   It all is relative isn’t it?  To each person, each moment, each experience.  What is proper to one is not to the other or is not clear to the other. 

Living in a culture that being “politically correct” requires an online (up-to-date) playbook make it a bit difficult to know when to use certain words, or to laugh.  Or does it?  Perhaps it really boils down to allowing people to be people.  Not judging them for who they are, where they are, how they are, what they are, and when they are.  Allowing each other the space to live, LAUGH, love and not reading anything more into it than what it is…. A word.  A sound.  A reaction. 

Allowing each other (and giving ourselves) permission to LIVE like we want, LAUGH as often as we can and LOVE ourselves and each other in the process allows each of us to be the change that we seek in this world, one day, one person, one journey, one moment of laughter and one word at a time.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.

Be Yourself

John Jakes is the acknowledged contemporary master of the family saga. He is the creator of the legendary eight-volume Kent Family Chronicles.  He is also a man who is a master at weaving fiction and facts into beautiful tapestries.  He gave us “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

Today’s American culture sends such mixed messages about being who you.  This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, right?  It okay to be gay as long as you don’t want to get married, adopt children, or lose your job or housing (and until recently, in the name of “freedom” defend this country.)  We offer freedom of religion.  (well, that is if you believe in Christianity.  And only “OUR” version and/or interoperation of the Bible.)  We believe in freedom of political party (as long as you believe what “we” believe, when we believe it) (oh ya, and don’t be poor, down on your luck or need medical attention because your just lazy and want something for free.)

What has happened to our culture in America?   I get that times change, people change, but other countries have time-honored cultures that are often symbolic of who they are as a people.  When did it become ok to speak or act ill towards your elders?  I understand freedom of speech as I understand a parent’s right to wash their child’s mouth out with soap for using dirty words.  When did it become ok to drive down the street blaring lyrics that I want to cover MY ears (let alone the ears of anyone younger than me.)

I know I am dating myself when I say “What happened to the times of the Waltons…”  People took care of themselves, each others and those that need help.  I am not being cynical, because I know that there is A LOT of good going on in this world.  I am just raising my hand and asking where did “OUR” culture go to?  What IS our American culture?

I submit that you SHOULD be yourself.  Be who you are.  Believe what you believe.  And let that shine through your actions, words and life.  And don’t worry about those that “mind”, they only matter if YOU give them that authority/power.

George H.W. Bush called for our country to be “kinder and gentler” in many ways we are.  And in many ways we have room to learn, grow and be just that.  We can be the change that we seek in this world.  One day, one journey, one person, one kind word, one truth at a time…

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.