Friday, March 9, 2012

Friends are like teeth.

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

Emerson wrote “Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”  Friendships are what we make of them.  When we stop traveling that road to visit, the path will get overgrown with weeds and you may not get to that friend so easily, or find them at all.

I struggle with this life truth or life lesson (your choice.)  There is certainly the mind trap that I called last, or I reached out last, or I reached out the most.  Is it really about keeping score about who did what?  Isn’t friendship a journey best traveled together? 

Some will say ‘but royal I tried, s/he didn’t.’  I will admit a friendship (like any relationship) is not about a 50/50 partnership.  It is all sides always giving 100% and that does make it a bit “unfair” or unbalanced when it is perceived that someone is not giving their all, isn’t it? 

I teach couples in premarital classes and couples coaching that all relationships are about the 3-C’s.  Commitment.  Compromise. And Communication.  All three are needed, for without one, you have no foundation and your house will collapse. 

Committing to good times and not so good times, always having each other’s, the commitment to say what is needed to be said regardless if it is popular or not.

Compromise when times are challenging.  Knowing when to give even more than “your fair share” because it is the right thing to do, not the easy thing to do, the powerful and healing thing to do.  It is about why the majority of all covered paths happen… lack of communication.  TALK don’t email.  TALK don’t text.  TALK don’t send a letter.  TALK don’t FaceBook.  TALK don’t use Twitter.  And when your talking, put the device down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends are like teeth.  If you ignore them they will go away.  They require brushing off, attention, love and care.

And in closing remember, you can’t be friends with every single person you know.  We know that an average person socializes with about 100 people and being close with up to 10 people (again, averages.) 

I am blessed, thankful and grateful for the friends in my life.  They make me a better person.  We have shared many good experiences. When I am done posting this, I am going to connect with one or two to remind them how much I value them.  You should too.


We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One friend at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.


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