Sunday, December 18, 2011

Final Thoughts


Part of my calling was doing hospital visits.  I LOVE doing them.  Short term, long term, emergency and hospice.  There are two times consistently that I feel so close and intimate to the Sacred.


There are two times when people I visit want to share regrets, sorrows or wanting help is when they don’t think that they are in right relationship with their family and/or what they know to be sacred and when they think that they are nearing the beginning of the end of their life.


When people are nearing end of life they can be powerful and do a lot of growing and learning not only about life, themselves but others as well.  Each share, in detail, their fears, cheers, anger, and overall grief.  And many talk about a wide range of what ends up being regrets.


For me the key is telling the person what they want to hear or give them an easy way out.  It is making space for them to finish their journey, and determine the best source of resolution for themselves.


1)      Often times they wished that they would have not worried about trying to get a head or accumulate so much.  They would have rather taken family trips by car and spent more time than flying and hurrying from point a, b and c.
2)      Some share that they think they spent too much time work and away from family.  Missing family events, important dates and times.  The wished they would have put family first.
3)      Not holding grudges and dismissing friends and family from their circle is a choice that many would do differently if they had the chance.  They miss so many friends and some family members.  Most don’t recall what even led to a disagreement.
4)      Many shared that they were concerned how so many that they had not seen or talked to would remember them.  Because of not being in touch, they felt that they may not have been “nice” or caring enough and people might think “who cares if he/she dies…”  They were sad and disappointed that they didn’t treat others better. 
5)      The biggest emotional issue that I have experienced with others is those sharing that they were ashamed and scared to admit that for many years they were not happy.  Not happy with their job, where they lived, who they were in a relationship with, a sibling, a child, a friend, with themselves.  They thought that they were the only person in the world not happy with their life in a moment of time.

I think that these are valid and real concerns from people who are facing a major health crises or realization of end of life.  It is NEVER too late to say a kind word, to apologize, forgive or ask for forgiveness.  It is NEVER too late to say I love you, and tell someone how you feel about them.  It is NEVER too late for you to live YOUR life they way that is authentic, meaningful and true to who  you are.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One life at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as Interfaith Chaplain.  He has studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He also holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. He is available for premarital coaching, couples coaching, life coaching, and pastoral care in the Nebraska and Iowa area.

Inclusive Life offers both nondenominational and nonreligious care-serving all, without exception!  Inclusive Life offers Wedding MinistersPremarital CoachingCouples CoachingFuneral MinistersEnd of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. To reach Chaplain Royal or Chaplain Beth please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals

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