Communication a 2 way process

You’re pathetic.  You’re ignorant.  You’re stupid.  Are you deaf?  How many times have we heard or said or thought those words (or something similar?)  Especially when heated words were being exchanged…


How many times have you and your companion ended up walking away after a “debate” and feeling angry and frustrated?  How many times have we allowed words to come out of our mouths in the heat of the moment only to regret them and wish they would not have escaped our months.


I remember being at a wedding rehearsal and watching the Bride and Groom participate in a "growing activity." The Groom's brother had them hold hands, the Groom's on top of the Bride's, and had them count to 10. After the groom had said 10, his brother turned to the crowd and said that something had just happened for the very last time... He looked towards the Groom and said, "This will be the last time you have the last word and the upper hand!"


It is true that in life, we focus so much on winning: Winning the argument, being right, being accurate, or proving our point to the other person.  Too often our mouths may be shut (maybe) but we are still not hearing what the other person is saying because we are too busy figuring out what our next thought process or words will be.

And then someone throws out some words to try and be funny when it backfires and comes out sounded very crass, or smart aleck, which often just makes things worse and the other person to have hurt feelings. 

Think about it!  The next time you are engaged in words with someone, think about how you are actually participating in this conversation.  Are you really hearing AND listening?  Are you really communicating?  (that is a two way thing you know) and are you REALLY taking time to value their input and much as you wish they would yours?  If not perhaps you should stop while you’re a head.

Maybe we should try to understand what they are saying, and where they are coming from. Maybe, we should try to be wise, and hold our tongue long enough to make the conversation productive, instead of destructive.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One conversation at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as Interfaith Chaplain.  He has studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He also holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. He is available for premarital coaching, couples coaching, life coaching, and pastoral care in the Nebraska and Iowa area.

Inclusive Life offers both nondenominational and nonreligious care-serving all, without exception!  Inclusive Life offers Wedding Ministers, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Funeral Ministers, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. To reach Chaplain Royal or Chaplain Beth please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals