Life is good. Life is
hard. Life is life. At times life goes by so easily, no rough
patches. Health, work, finances,
relationships, are all synced and hours become days become weeks become months
become years… Sooner or later a snag, a
hurdle or a brick wall brings that harmony to a complete stop.
You lost a job, a roommate moved out, a relationship has
some communication problems, health issue arise, you fall on hard times
financially, or you find yourself lost by change. It is most easy to beat
yourself up, shut down, stop talking and become a hermit. Many people do withdraw from normal routines
of talking with friends, going out, staying connected and often “hide” in
shame.
I’ve been there. We
were living less than paycheck to paycheck.
Payday loans kept us a float. Car
was just repossessed, utilities were about to be shut off. I stopped going to church, stop hanging
around friends, didn’t communicate with my friends, I shut down too.
A life lesson that I learned during my 120 day vacation in
2005 is that unless we are dead, we are alive…keep walking! I realized that I am not the first, nor will
I be the last person on this earth to lose a job, have a car repossessed, have
a utility shut off, have no money to my name.
Guess what? I am still here. I lived through it. It was a humbling experience that I am too
often reminded of when I “feel” like living large again. I can live within and below my means and be
happy.
These three fables, sayings can help anyone put things into
perspective…
Good Luck or Bad
Luck? (a Zen koan)
Once upon the time there was an old farmer who had worked
his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news,
his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.
“Perhaps,” the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing
with it three other wild horses. “What great luck!” the neighbors exclaimed. “Perhaps,” replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one
of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came
to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.
“Perhaps,” answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to the village to
draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they
passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had
turned out. “Perhaps,” said the
farmer...
We should certainly celebrate when things go well and life
is good and we should not get carried away.
And when things are not going well, we should not lose our focus, temperament,
or drive. Life is not only a series of
ups and downs but also, some great challenges… keep walking, you will get
there.
I'd Rather Be a Happy
Turtle (Chinese)
Zhuang Zi was a brilliant philosopher and strategist who
lived in ancient China. His abilities were many and several rulers sought his
services. One of them, King Wei, sent his courtiers out to Zhuang Zi's pastoral
home to invite him to come to Wei's court and be the leader's chief counselor.
They found him there fishing by the river bank.
Seeing his poor situation, they thought Zhuang Zi would jump
at the chance for status and reward. Yet when they made their proposal to him,
he said, "Once upon a time there was a sacred turtle, which was happy
living his life in the mud. Yet, because he was sacred, the king's men found him,
took him to the royal palace, killed him and used his shell to foresee the
future. Now tell me, would that turtle prefer to have given up his life to be
honored at the palace, or would he rather be alive and enjoying himself in the
mud?" The courtiers responded that,
of course, the turtle would be happier in the mud. To which Zhuang Zi replied, "And so you
have my answer. Go home and let me be a happy turtle here in the mud."
In a culture and time that bigger is better, we want it now,
we want more of…, and your “toys” seem to be the sum of you… this reminds us
that we can be easily bewitched by advancement, fame, and reward. And we are so
seduced by it that we trade our most precious resource, time, to get it. And
many times, looking back, we are unhappy with the trade-off. So before you take
on more, try and think about if you will be happier with "fame" or
would you have more fun enjoying time "in the mud".
The King and the Pawn
(Italian)
"At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back
in the same box."
Do you know someone who is wealthier than you? Of course you do. Where they live, what they drive, where they
eat, where they travel, what they wear. Do you know people who have less than
you? Of course you do. Who do you think of more often? Probably being more like those who have
more. Maybe you are where you are
supposed to be in life. I am not saying
you are not worthy of being comfortable, and perhaps it is about knowing what
REALLY brings happiness.
At the end of the day we do take our clothes off the same
way and put them on the same way. The
rich are no “better” a class of people then those who live in a cardboard box
with no home. You are not the sum of
what you own. You are the sum of the
content of your heart and your character.
You are the author of your own life story.
We can be the change we seek in
this world. and in ourselves. One day. One journey.
One person. One life experience at a time.
Chaplain
Royal officiates weddings and funerals in Iowa and Nebraska. He is available for premarital coaching,
couples coaching, life coaching, pastoral care and hospital visits.
Inclusive
Life offers both nondenominational and nonreligious care: serving all, without
exception! Inclusive Life offers Wedding Ministers, Premarital
Coaching, Couples Coaching, Funeral Ministers, End of Life Planning, Pastoral
Care, and Pathways Worship.
CONTACT
US:
402-575-7006
105 S. 49th Street Omaha, NE 68132
500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503
Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling.
Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings
Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling,
Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings
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