Want to get married? Who is going to preside? It is true that most weddings in the US still occur in places of worship. As we know up to 70% of the population no longer attends worship on a regular basis. So, who then, will perform the ceremony? Will you choose an officiant or a minister? What is the difference?
Officiant is a newer title/position within the realm of the wedding industry. It can apply to anyone who is charged with the legal authority to preside over a wedding ceremony; a judge, retired judge, judge magistrate, clergy (Priest, Minister, Pastor, Chaplain, Rabbi), someone who was ordained online*, and others as allowed by law.
Minister, traditionally, refers to licensed and or ordained members of a religious organization who may represent their place of worship, church, or ministry.
Each offers a varying degree of knowledge, training and flexibility in terms of what they will allow, what they will do, and how, when and where they will do it. Judges, not all-but most, are pretty inflexible. You will be read their vows using their language, and you have no options. Their role in your ceremony is pretty much limited to the ceremony itself, they will not offer other services or features. They are there for the ceremony words and signing of license and that is it!
Ministers usually stick to a script and a normal “agenda” as to what they place of worship, church or ministry allows. Sure you may find one who is very flexible, but most will confine ceremony components to what they deem necessary and useful, don’t get your hopes up for something new age, unique or that is a trend. You will be fit into a box, it is one size fits all.
Officiants who are not judges or ministers often have built a reputation and their business (for some it may also be a ministry) by providing custom wedding ceremonies, thinking out of the box is the only way that most of these professionals will create a ceremony. It is about co-authoring the ceremony, the story; keeping it as traditional as you want it to be, or not to be.
*Some “Officiants” become ordained online. Some government authorities are limiting, restricting and in some cases unless “online ordained reverends” can submit that they are currently involved in ongoing ministry work outside of conducting weddings, they are being prevented from that privilege. Being ordained online does not mean that the individual has less or more experience, education, training, or ability than a person has attended seminary, college, or who has been locally ordained.
How do you choose? How much time to they spend getting to know you both? If you want to get married by a stranger and that is not important to you, so be it. Most couples want someone whom they trust, feel comfortable with and who shares their vision for the ceremony as they do. What do their past clients have to say? How many weddings have they performed? How does their website look? Do they offer resources, referrals at no charge? What is their refund policy? What is their customer service policy?
We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves. One day. One journey. One person. One relationship at a time.
Royal D. Bush serves as Interfaith Chaplain. He has studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling. He also holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. He is available for premarital coaching, couples coaching, life coaching, and pastoral care in the Nebraska and Iowa area.
Inclusive Life offers both nondenominational and nonreligious care-serving all, without exception! Inclusive Life offers Wedding Ministers, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Funeral Ministers, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care.
INCLUSIVE LIFE (402) 575-7006 info@inclusivelife.org
In Omaha at 105 S. 49th Street, Omaha, NE 68132
In Council Bluffs at 500 Willow Avenue, Council Bluffs, IA 51503
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