The most important things

There is a saying, everything happens for a reason.  Many subscribe that the Sacred has everything planned out, to the detail.  I subscribe that maybe the big stuff through life may happen that way, but most of the other stuff happens due to our own free will, our free agency, and our own choices.

Many more people could have died in the 9/11 disaster in New York City.  Many were late or didn’t go into work that day for many different reasons.  Some had car problems, some had a child who spilled something on their outfit, some alarm clocks didn’t go off, and one even was late because he forgot that it was his turn to by donuts that day.

In my life, I have come to know that we mostly arrive where we are supposed to be when we are to be there.  We may not know why or how, probably which isn’t important anyway.  As I look back on  my life there have been times that I did not want to be where I was, with whom I was with, and sometimes even how I got there was unnerving.  Nonetheless, as it turns out, I was where I was to be.

In our lives, today, we too often take time to do the routine things that make life easier, and often push away the coulda, woulda, shoulda moments that make life worth living.  You know like taking time to check up on FaceBook, emails and text messages instead of making a phone call or visit a loved one.  Catching up on our favorite recorded TV programs instead of checking on a neighbor or spending a couple of hours volunteering.  Or perhaps going out to dinner instead of working through a recipe with your partner, loved one, family member, friend or someone who needs you.

A believe this story sums it up best.  As I recall; the nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.  “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.  Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength.  Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.  Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.  “Who was that man?” he asked.

The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.  “No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied.“I never saw him before in my life.”  “Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?” “I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”

We can be the change we seek in this world.  One day, one person, one moment, one journey and one coulda, woulda, shoulda moment at a time.

Chaplain Royal Bush and Chaplain Beth Loofe are Interfaith Chaplains offering nondenominational and nonreligious care and services to all, without exception in Nebraska and Iowa. They conduct Weddings, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching,Funerals, End of Life Planning, and Pastoral Care. For more information please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone 402-575-7006. Omaha Weddings, Omaha Counseling, Omaha Funerals.