2013 Week 20

I am sharing one photo each week and one word that represents what I am grateful for.

GRATEFUL WORD: 

PATIENCE.  For those that know me really well, they know that the first part of my life I had none.  No patience or tolerance for what we inconvenient to me.  I prayed for patients once and God revealed my mothers face.  I thought it was because I should be trying to recall something she said or did... it was about caring for her until her final breath.  I like a comfort zone just like anyone else and I know that we are the most powerful and grow the most when we are OUTSIDE of our comfort zone.

  

2013 Week photo:

About the writer…

Royal D. Bush was born and raised in the Omaha metro area raised in a single parent family, with his Mother Mildred.  His first many years of life were spent in Bellevue, where he and his mother attended church at the First Baptist Church of Bellevue.  Eventually Omaha became home, where as a young adult, Royal began attending various worship services with friends and family before finally calling MCC Omaha his home, where he went on to serve as Minister of Hospitality.

In 2009, Royal founded Inclusive Life Pastoral Services; a Nebraska, nonprofit, multifaith based organization that offers care and services to individuals, couples and families who are not a part of church, organized religion, or have a religious belief.  He is ordained and serves as a Chaplain.  Inclusive Life serves all without exception, religious and nonreligious.  He continues to share his belief and message that “You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  You are not alone.”

In 2012 he married his partner of five years, Jonathan.  They share a home in the Dundee area of Omaha.  Today, Royal is a member and attends service at the First Unitarian Church of Omaha.  He currently is working on two projects: A 2 hour “You Retreat” that will be offered monthly, at no charge!  It will focus on allowing people to experience themselves in ways perhaps not experienced before or often.  And secondly, he is studying and training for knowledge with Aromatherapy and Essential Oils. 

INCLUSIVE LIFE…
Since 2009 Inclusive Life has offered religious and nonreligious care and services to individuals, couples and families in Nebraska and Iowa.  We understand that not everyone is a part of a church or organized religion.  We serve all without exception.

Omaha Chapel Room, Weddings, Vow Renewals, Elopements, Commitment Ceremonies, Kiss and Go Civil Ceremony, Premarital Coaching, Relationship Coaching.

Pastoral Care, Hospital Visits, Baptisms, Naming Ceremonies, Blessings, Dedications

Document End of Life Decisions, Funerals, Life Celebrations, Memorials, Grief Coaching.

NEW: Young Living Essential Oils, Aromatherapy training, products, and accessories.

Bad News

I have said for a long time that media outlets owe it to the overall health of this country to share all the news, both GOOD and unpleasant.  To me, it seems, too much of the focus is on war, death, politics and other ill behavior of humanity.  That is not the only side to humanity, there is so much MORE to report.  I do NOT advocate sticking our heads in the sand and ignoring reality, I am saying that here is MUCH MORE to reality to report than what is being shared by the media today.

Statistics show: Happy people spend significantly less time watching television and study the newspaper less often. The psychological explanation: Television and newspapers achieve their quotas mainly with disasters, murders and bad news and as a result focus their reporting mainly on these "bad news". Who abstains from these media, therefore overall has a more positive view of the world.

Television evidently gradually empties the body's memory of the feel-good hormone endorphin. So consciously try to reduce your media consumption - especially watching TV - to a minimum. You'll see, your happiness is going to benefit.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One less news show at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Please and thank you.

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

I have always said it does not cost anything to be polite.  Saying please and thank you are free AND go a long way, especially when we write them in a personal note.  Offering praise, when and where praise is due is also important. 

Praise is one way to build people up, especially one you may be mentoring, guiding or managing.  The beauty of offering authentic praise is that is a win-win gift.  You get the benefit of helping another human being and they get the benefit of added self esteem and self confidence. 

Remember a time when someone praised you for your work, how did you feel?  It empowered you and you felt good.  Someone gave you the gift of praise, you can share that same praise with someone else.

I used the word authentic a moment ago, and I reaffirm that I am not talking about giving praising simply for the sake of giving praise.  Authentic praise is about honestly sharing and promoting the positive actions of others.  Don’t do just because you need to develop a relationship with them, do it because it is the right thing to do!

Who should you praise?  Spouse, significant other, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors.  It is about building, maintaining and helping others be good people.  As your relationships grow, so will your ability to have an impact in their life. 

We know that people who are self confident are often happier, more fulfilled people. This is one way that each of us can contribute to making this a better world for us all.  One person at a time!

I believe in building people up, not tearing them down.  It is a good thing.  Even if we never get anything in return, it is the right thing to build others up, there will be always be someone else to tear them down.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One leader at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Leadership

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

Need some tips to lead others?  Being a boss does not mean you are a leader.  Being a leader is above simply have the responsibility of managing others.  Read on…

React Swiftly.  So many times it is perceived that issues get swept under the carpet.  Addressing issues quickly is important.  It helps everyone understand that leadership is paying attention and cares about keeping the environment harmonious and productive.  Ignoring or not addressing issues will lead to poor or low morale and it will begin to cause a lack of respect towards leadership.  Addressing issues head-on and consistently is important.

Remember what it was like.  Too many times those who were promoted or who were once where those you are leading are at now forget what it was like.  Your role and responsibility may be different now.  It is even MORE important to have time to speak to and listen to those whom you are doing the work you once did.    

Find value in employees. I have always managed with the focus that the A number one most important person in my world as a manager is… the employee, not the customer or guest.  If I focus, train, and lead employees to care for, handle and help customers and guests as I would I know that THAT is the recipe for greatness.  And it works!  It is about giving them the tools, listening and inspecting what I expect from each of them. 

Now there are always those key employees that are born to go beyond what is normally expected.  What do you do for them?  You invest!  Don’t focus on charts, graphs and goals.  Those who focus on developing staff and helping them achieve their goals, will produce the results everyone wants naturally.

Fix Week Link. Every place has one.  That one employee who is difficult to work with, the who is not well liked, and other managers don’t want in their department.  No matter what they do, it is wrong, it won’t work and everyone knows it.  Secretly that employee knows what position they are in.  And even if they want to change, without help it simply will not work.  When “we” (and I mean everyone) say “employee x” is no good, is useless and needs to go” guess what?  They will become no good, they will become useless and they will need to go. 

Most of the time, nothing can be further from the truth.  You have someone who has probably been there for some time and therefore you have a lot of resources invested in them.  Is it possible to turn someone around?  The answer is yes.  I have, I do and it can be done!  All the time, maybe not AND it can be done. 

As a leader you have a bit more clout.  You can begin by pointing out the good things that they do, praise (authentic praise) goes a long way, especially when done in public.  Talk to the employee and being up front and head-on with the employee and letting them know you want to help give them a make-over and a second chance is key, let them part of the process and get them re-motivated.

For all the times it may not work you WILL have an employee who will succeed.  Think about the impact you will have made in their professional and personal life.  You can be the change you seek in this world!

Put others first. Me, me me.  Me.  ME ME ME ME.  Isn’t that what you hear when some leaders talk?  Don’t be that person.  Good leaders serve others and have no need to promote themselves or toot their own horn (their employees will do that for them!)  Take the time to know what others are doing and help promote that, share that and help be proud of the people whom you are working with.

Consistently let your employees know (by your actions, behavior and words) that their work is more important than yours.  And, never ask someone to do something you would not do.  Both hallmarks of legendary leaders.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One leader at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Dream Big

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

Entitlement is a buzz word that has been used a lot in the political arena the last few years.  Mostly, they are referring to people looking for a hand out instead of a hand up.  There is another life lesson in there too, one that is not often talked about at family gatherings or coffee shops: You are not guaranteed everything you dream!

I am not saying you can’t or should not follow your dreams.  I am saying that in order to achieve those dreams one MUST also have talent, education and the commitment to work tirelessly for it.

A person who is a klutz will probably not be opening in the lead role of a ballet.  A person who is tone deaf will probably not win American Idol.  A person born with poor eyesight will probably not be a fighter pilot.  Not everyone who applies and tries will be a Marine. 

The focus is not to remind you what you can’t do or can’t be.  The focus is to reinforce two things our society does not...

Number One: You must work VERY VERY VERY hard to achieve your dreams.  No one will do that for you.  It is not a present you will open one day, it is something you must live, breath, bath, eat and live until it is achieved. 

Number Two: Having a dream that you have great passion for is wonderful.  Remember that you achieving your dream is not something that is guaranteed and no one owes it to you!

By all means dream, dream big!  Realize that your success will be determined, not by your dreaming but by your hard work, study and perseverance.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One dream at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Silence

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

Silence is golden.  It is said that true friendship comes only when silence is comfortable.  Do you mean two people can sit together, not say a word and be happy?  YES, that is exactly what we mean.

I have always been a talker.  I especially love talking to people whom I have never met.  Connecting for a moment as if we had been lifelong friends, I love that.  It is only been in the last couple of years that I have learned to be a listener.  I am still working on it. 

Listening requires more than shutting up.  It requires more than just hearing.  It requires you to free your mind from thoughts, preconceived notions an wait for each word that is spoken, how it is offered and where it came from.  It is about not adding words, making suggestions or interrupting.

It is also about learning that silence is, in fact, golden.  It can be healing, powerful and beautiful just being in the presence with someone.

I believe the thing I need much more practice at is being silent with myself.  I usually must always be doing something, staying plugged in, typing or calling someone.  Silence is golden.

I am grateful for the experiences of friendship and love that have taught me a great deal of many lessons in communicating.  I don’t know if I will ever “master” communication, and I will continue to try to be a good listener.  And appreciate silence when it comes.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One moment of silence at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Imperfection

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

I will take the risk of growing closer to others whom I surround myself with.  I am thankful for the way we help each other become better human beings.  I like how we can sharpen each other’s strengths and laugh at our mistakes.

Merrill Markoe wrote “It’s just like magic!  When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!”  Who would have thought I have flaws?  WELL!  When people and objects make noise that irritates me or I don’t like I ask “what is this unnecessary noise?”  Of course, I would NEVER, at ANY TIME in my life be the creator of such.  I simply do not ever make a noise that would possibly be considered unnecessary to anyone else.  ;)

Our flaws do come to light in the context of our relationship with others.  People make great mirrors for us, if we open our eyes.  It may seem more comfortable at first to retreat and not allow others to see our flaws, but ultimately, our friends help reveal our strengths despite our “flaws”, even when we get on each other’s nerves (and what a power way to learn how to relate to other humans!)

We are all born with gifts, talents and yes, sometimes, limits.  Do what you can, with what you have, where you are at.  Dance, laugh, sing and love as if no one is watching!

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One flaw at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Trust

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

In God we trust.  All others must pay cash.  I have seen that many times at markets and shops, always makes me laugh.  It was said that he who does not trust enough, will not be trusted.  This goes beyond if the glass is half full or half empty.

Trust is a gift.  It is earned.  It is maintained.  Regarding others with an open or ambivalent mind is certainly an art.  We start judging people the moment we meet them, sizing them up.  If we distrust people, we’ll likely get just what we expect.  If we look for the negative you will find it!

When we are open to the idea that most people are trustworthy, we may discover something surprising… THEY ARE!  This short story sums it up well.  

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, 'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.' The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.' 'What's the difference?' asked the puzzled father.

'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl. 'If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.'

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One bond at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings

Friends are like teeth.

NOTE: http://www.inclusivelife.org/category/blog/ will soon be the home of the Inclusive Life Blog beginning April 1, 2012.

Emerson wrote “Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”  Friendships are what we make of them.  When we stop traveling that road to visit, the path will get overgrown with weeds and you may not get to that friend so easily, or find them at all.

I struggle with this life truth or life lesson (your choice.)  There is certainly the mind trap that I called last, or I reached out last, or I reached out the most.  Is it really about keeping score about who did what?  Isn’t friendship a journey best traveled together? 

Some will say ‘but royal I tried, s/he didn’t.’  I will admit a friendship (like any relationship) is not about a 50/50 partnership.  It is all sides always giving 100% and that does make it a bit “unfair” or unbalanced when it is perceived that someone is not giving their all, isn’t it? 

I teach couples in premarital classes and couples coaching that all relationships are about the 3-C’s.  Commitment.  Compromise. And Communication.  All three are needed, for without one, you have no foundation and your house will collapse. 

Committing to good times and not so good times, always having each other’s, the commitment to say what is needed to be said regardless if it is popular or not.

Compromise when times are challenging.  Knowing when to give even more than “your fair share” because it is the right thing to do, not the easy thing to do, the powerful and healing thing to do.  It is about why the majority of all covered paths happen… lack of communication.  TALK don’t email.  TALK don’t text.  TALK don’t send a letter.  TALK don’t FaceBook.  TALK don’t use Twitter.  And when your talking, put the device down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends are like teeth.  If you ignore them they will go away.  They require brushing off, attention, love and care.

And in closing remember, you can’t be friends with every single person you know.  We know that an average person socializes with about 100 people and being close with up to 10 people (again, averages.) 

I am blessed, thankful and grateful for the friends in my life.  They make me a better person.  We have shared many good experiences. When I am done posting this, I am going to connect with one or two to remind them how much I value them.  You should too.

We can be the change we seek in this world, and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One friend at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.

Inclusive Life.  Non denominational. Non religious. Weddings. Premarital Coaching. Pastoral Care. End of Life Planning. Couples Coaching. Funeral Ceremonies.  Hospital Visits.  We serve all without exception.

CONTACT US:

info@inclusivelife.org

www.inclusivelife.org (NEW WEB SITE)

www.facebook.com/inclusivelife

402-575-7006

105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE 68132

500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA 51503

Omaha Weddings. Omaha Counseling. Omaha Funerals, Nebraska Weddings

Council Bluffs Weddings, Council Bluffs Counseling, Council Bluffs Funeral, Iowa Weddings