Hello. Goodbye.

As I get older, my mother gets smarter. Something I have shared a time or two.  Moria Rogers once penned the words, “The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.”

My mom turned 93 in September of 2011.  She was born in 1918 (gee doesn’t that sound like a billion years ago?)  I can say life today is different than what it was when I was a kid, and I am very sure that she could say life and times today are much different than in 1918. 

I remember in the house I grew up in, we lived in Bellevue, Nebraska.  A small town, then, outside of Omaha.  Home of Offutt Air Force Base, now call Stratcom.  It was just mom and I growing up, oh and the many neighbors that we grew up with and that always seemed to be around.

I thought my mom knew everyone in the city.  We could not go anywhere without someone knowing her and saying hello.  The apple does not fall far from the tree…

My Aunt Geri passed away at 61 in December of 2011.  When she passed it just seemed to get me thinking and reminding me that I know that there will be a day and time in the not too distant future that mom is not going to wake up one morning. 

I don’t think that there is any preparation for a child to care for their parents in their final years.  They raise us as we are kids becoming adults and we watch them as adults become kid like.  It is like it is an entire different person we are caring for or living with.  The spills and accidents, “I didn’t do that”… oh really?  I laugh about it now, I will one day miss being able to have those talks with her.

A friend once told me that I need to have “the” conversation with her.  The one where I tell her that her work is done, and when she is ready to go she can go.  I am selfish.  I have not been able to bring myself to have that talk.  I cry just thinking about it.  I know that it can be a powerful, healing and peaceful conversation.  I know I will be ready when the time is right.  God and life always seems to have me where I am supposed to be when I am supposed to be there.

Saying goodbye to my mom will be one of the most frightening things I will have ever done in my life.  I take comfort knowing that if she passed this very moment we would BOTH have known that we loved each other very much, without exception.

My mom taught me many things.  Most of which is love others, help others and you will be loving and helping yourself.  No one is ever a stranger after you say hello.  Do what you do, be who you will be and do it well.

In closing I remind all of us that despite our past with our parents, regardless of how painful, pleasant, or crazy it may be, in the end blood is thicker than water.  In your own time, in your own way attempt to make peace with moms, dads, sisters, brothers, family and friends.  Say hello one more time before you have to say goodbye.

We can be the change we seek in this world. and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One act of forgiveness or acceptance at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He also holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.  Chaplain Royal is available in Omaha for premarital coaching, couples coaching, life coaching and pastoral care.  He is also here to help with marriage ceremonies, end of life planning and funerals.

Inclusive Life offers both nondenominational and nonreligious care-serving all, without exception!   Inclusive Life offers Wedding Ministers, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Funeral Ministers, End of Life Planning, Pastoral Care, and Pathways Worship.

To reach Chaplain Royal or Chaplain Beth please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone

402-575-7006. 105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE and 500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA. 

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