I will praise him

It is said that Women are from Venus and men are from Mars.  And that may, or may not be true with some I know… (kidding.)


In my sessions with couples who are having a rough time, most all of the time when you drill down, when you get to the core issue it is most often communication.  I used to say or the lack of communication.  I know say that it is because we don’t know how to communicate properly.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the Languages of Love.   A great resource and tool for ANY relationship, partner, work, life, family… it helps you to understand that what gets you excited in a good way is what makes the next person hot under the collar OR have no impact at all. 


An example is that it is understood, largely that we all respond well to praise, perhaps males a bit more.  At work they feel respected, others come to them for advice, direction and help.  Often at home the partner is not asking, is not seeking his input but is merely “giving orders” (in his mind) by suggesting, stating what is needed or reminding what isn’t done yet. 


He needs to understand that the partner IS communicating, just not the way he is used to at work or how he learned this model growing up within his family.  He also needs to be aware that while the partner is communicating in this manner, it is not being done to be mean, intolerant or disrespectful, or nagging.  And the partner needs to understand how he views this approach to communication, it simply is not going to work in this example.  On the other hand, if the partner would be willing to give him praise for his efforts, ask his opinion (not patronize) the partner would notice much more desirable results.

You can make these changes in ANY relationship.  The challenge is the 3-C’s, Communication (correctly).  Compromise.  And Commitment.  It with all three of these components that each relationship will become healthy, nurturing, and fun!

We can be the change we seek in this world. and in ourselves.  One day.  One journey.  One person.  One human beings choice at life and religion at a time.

Royal D. Bush serves as Interfaith Chaplain.  He has studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary. and the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He also holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. He is available for premarital coaching. couples coaching. life coaching. and pastoral care in the Nebraska and Iowa area.

Inclusive Life offers both nondenominational and nonreligious care-serving all. without exception!  Inclusive Life offers Wedding Ministers, Premarital Coaching, Couples Coaching, Funeral Ministers, End of Life Planning, Pastoral Care, and Pathways Worship.

To reach Chaplain Royal or Chaplain Beth please email info@inclusivelife.org OR phone

402-575-7006.  105 S. 49^th Street Omaha, NE and 500 Willow Ave Council Bluffs, IA. 

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